Generosity

A poor widow put in two small copper coins worth a penny.  - Jesus

You can give a flip or give a damn. Give your word or give an opinion.   You can give up, give back, give in, give way or give over. You can give a recital, give a cold, give offense, give approval, give an excuse, give a spanking, give and take or give up the ghost. You can give your time, give your money, give your thoughts, give your strength or give your attention. You can even give your life. Or, you can sit back and say, "What gives?"              

Giving - especially giving of the heart - has a way of turning things around. For the giver and the receiver, something magical happens when a gift is given. Maybe it's an exchange of energy, maybe it's a refocusing from the self to the gift. Or maybe, it's simply an unspoken way of reminding ourselves that giving and receiving is the way life works. A reminder that we are each and all - plants, animals, humans, oceans, air and rivers - utterly interdependent.                

There's something about giving that disperses anxiety, breaks up clots of fretfulness and crumbles walls of despair or loneliness. Giving might well be the antidote to many of the struggles that send us to therapists or to our knees in prayer. Maybe it's not just something they say in church.  Maybe it really is more blessed to give than receive. 

Howard loves officiating weddings.  And October is high season for weddings in the mountains.  In the month of October, Howard has 13 weddings scheduled, including a wedding on Halloween night and a hot-air balloon ceremony the day before.  Howard says, "It's always fun getting high with a couple in love."  Check out the wedding section athowardhanger.com and you'll see lots of giggles and grins.

Unfairness

The last will be first and the first will be last. - Jesus

"Life is not fair," wrote Bill Gates. "Get used to it."  

Yeah, yeah, easy for you to say, Mr. Billionaire Bill. Unfairness might not feel so bad with more money in the bank than you can spend. "Money may not buy happiness," we might respond, "but it helps you look for it more comfortably in a convertible."

Not to pick on Mr. Gates, one of the most generous philanthropists around, but life hardly ever seems fair. Seven year-old little girls die of cancer through no fault of their own. Talented and well-educated people lose their jobs simply because their company needs to downsize. Marriages and relationships fall apart when a hotter hottie shows up. Hurricanes, tornadoes and wildfires destroy homes of folks with no insurance.

When you look at the big picture, however... 

• when you realize, as you eat your ice cream that most humans in this world will go bed hungry tonight. 
• And tomorrow night. 
• And every night. 
• When you remember that you have been loved over and over in your life... 
• When you recognize that you live in city without daily car bombs, snipers and mass killings... 
• When you go to sleep in a bed. With sheets. And a hot shower in the morning..      ....... then you might agree with Oscar Wilde when he wrote, "Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."

Howard is excited and ready to celebrate 3 biggies this week: Equinox (23rd), Full Moon Lunar Eclipse (27th) & Yom Kippur (Sundown, 23rd).  For Howard, each of these events is a reminder of what an astounding universe this is, filled with cosmic wonders and even the possibility of forgiveness.  He encourages you to celebrate with him and to lift a glass to the earth, sun, moon and forgiveness.

Screws

 How often should you forgive?  Seventy times seven. - Jesus

You can screw something up, you can screw something down. You can screw someone out of something, you can screw into something. You can screw around, screw over, screw into, screw above, screw beneath. You can be a screwball with a screwdriver or find a screwworm on a screw jack or be just plain screwy. But, what you - nor any of us - ever want is to be screwed over.                  

Being screwed over implies that there was intention on the part of the screwer. You were the target. You were the focus. You were the butt of the joke. Or if there were no intention - no plan to take you down - there was at least no attempt to keep the screwing over from happening. And when this occurs, as it does eventually to each and every one of us, we feel rejected. Preyed upon. Victimized. Even persecuted.            

And sometimes, of course, we are ones who screw ourselves over. We are screwer and screwee. We sabotage, disrupt and sometimes incapacitate our highest goals and deepest dreams.             

One good thing about screws, of course, is that they can hold things together or you can hang things on them. Following a screwing over, it's not a bad idea to consider what of your values are even more together and where you might hang a picture of Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Jesus or any other good folks who have been screwed over as well.

Howard hates to see summer go: the swimming, the picnics, the warm nights.  But he loves what's coming.  He loves bonfires, hikes through the autumn colors of the mountains, Blessing of the Animals on St. Francis Day, Day of the Dead parties, Thanksgiving and sipping whiskey with friends at autumn sunset  - not to mention celebrating the birthdays of his daughters, sister, brother-in-law and LadyLove.  Howard is riding high as the sun settles low. 

Glimpsing Beyond the Veil

The law of Wonder rules my life at last. - Rumi

• The moment when lips touch and you kiss ever so deeply the one you love... 
• Hiking a mountain trail, you come upon an unexpected majestic waterfall...
•  Seeing a piece of art and feeling yourself get totally drawn into it... 
• Dancing your sweet self silly all alone in the kitchen to a Bob Marley tune...
•  Holding the hand of a dying loved one and looking deeply into their eyes...
•  Hearing a bird song at dawn that seems for all the world to be singing just for you...               

There are times when time leaves the stage and infinity waltzes on. Times which loosen time up, moisten time and make it more like water and less like stone. There are moments scattered through our lives like pixie dust which remind us. Re - mind us. Re - kindle us. Re - awaken us. Re - boot us.   Experiences which may be as common as breathing, but which breathe in new life and blow away our lethargy.

Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is spread all over the earth, but humans do not see it. It just might be that we do, however.  It just might be that every now and then, the veil is lifted. Can't be controlled, planned or directed; but sometimes when we least expect it, we get a fleeting glimpse of that which makes life worth ride. And, along with the glimpse, a gentle reminder that it may well be there all the time.

Howard is feeling fidgety, flighty, flipped-out and flabbergasted.  And the feelings are to be expected because within less than a week, Howard will become a Grand-dad.  Howard's daughter, Windsor, and her husband, Alex, are expecting a baby girl who should be delivered in the next several days.  Howard says that when his daughters were about to be born, people asked him, "Are you ready?"  And he admits he never was. He just plunged in and became a Dad.  He feels the same way now.

Slippery Slopes

The wise in any foreign country seek a true guide.

- Hafiz 

We all live in a mountain range called, "Slippery Slopes." Everywhere we look and almost anywhere we go, we find ourselves climbing, hiking, ascending, descending somewhere in slimy smooth hills. 

And there are names for many of the slopes. There's the Greed Gradient, Sarcasm Slant, Inconsiderate Incline, Selfish Slope, Haughty Hill, Narrow-Minded Knoll, Materialistic Mound, Finicky Foothill, Biased Bluff, Belligerent Butte and Mount Miserly. All slippery slopes. All tricky to navigate. All presenting the distinct possibility for you to lose your balance, lose your footing, lose your confidence, lose your self-respect, lose your integrity.

When we were kids, we were sometimes warned that marijuana was a slippery slope. Likewise a lie. Or cheating in school. But it didn't take us long to realize that life is up to its nose hairs in slippery slopes, and finding our footing is not always the easiest. Sometimes, we trip, slip and fall. And, most of the time, the results ain't pretty.               

But, it's where we live - all of us. And, knowing that we all live in these hills and all fall at one time or another, 'twould make a good case for spending a little time each day helping someone get up and get back on their way.

____________________

Howard is head-over-heels in the season of weddings.  This weekend at 6:00 a.m., he'll be up in a hot air balloon over the mountains of Western North Carolina celebrating the wedding of Elizabeth and Marshall.  For Howard, it's both an exhilarating and humbling experience to be within inches of a couple declaring their love and promises to each other.  Though he admits that champagne is not so appealing at sunrise, Howard is clear that he loves his job.